Seriously...that's how I'm gonna go out???

Feeling good BEFORE the 50K
Tracy, Corina, Me, and Libby

Well, we went down to the happening town of Warda, Texas this weekend to hit up the Wild Hare 50K trail run.  I was excited because I loved the last 50K a couple of weeks ago and I was ready to try a new one.  I had great runs all week - not too much- just enough.  So Friday afternoon, Libby picks me up and we head down. We ate dinner and got to the race site to check out how far is was from the hotel.  It was 15 minutes away so it was perfect.   We got checked in and laid all the race stuff out for in the morning.  Corina and Tracy had left D/FW later than we had, so they arrived about 9 or so.  We stayed up giggling and talking til about 10:30 and then hit the sack.  All alarms were set for 4:40 and the hotel wake up call also came in about that time.  So up and at 'em bright and early Saturday morning.  We threw on our stuff, loaded up the cars and headed out to the race.  When we got there, it was still fairly dark, but  the 50k started at 7 so we knew it would be light enough that we wouldn't need headlamps. We got our packets and went to the car to bring all our stuff to the drop site and eventually made our way to the starting line.  At 7:00 we were on our way.  It was already a balmy 65 degrees and we all knew that it was only going to be getting hotter. (I think it wound up topping at about 80 with HORRIBLE humidity all day.)  Off we go, Corina, Libby, and I.  We get about a mile and a half into the run and I felt like I was going way too fast and Libby asked me if I saw Corina behind us.  I stepped off the trail so I wouldn't get run over and I turned around.  The thing is - my knee apparently turned, but my foot didn't and immediately I had a sharp, excrutiating pain shoot down through my knee.  I couldn't straighten it or put any weight on it.  Libby made me stretch and we tried to walk it out - it hurt like hell...I decided to try and run on it.  It felt better if I ran for some reason, so we ran - although I could already tell I was overcompensating with my right leg because I didn't want to put full weight on my left.  At our scheduled walk breaks, it slowly was getting a little better...the first walk break was brutal but after that it got a little better.  Almost like it needed to just be worked out...so I was thinking okay, I can do this.  Libby and I finish our first loop right at 2 hours, which was good.  We just needed to keep that pace up and we would be fine.  I got into camp, Vaselined my feet again, went to the bathroom and refilled my water bottle and off we go.  Over the next 3 miles of the second loop, I lost Libby.  She was going good, nice and strong...I could keep that pace for a while but for some reason I was needing more walk breaks.  I had told her not to wait on me and I am so glad she didn't because I would have just weighed her down.  I made it to the halfway aid station on loop 2 and was good...in a little pain, but okay.  I was at about mile 12 at that point.  Once I hit the back half of the loop, I hit the super hilly, crazy, crazy switchback areas.  I had to walk anything like that because of my knee.  I was still overcompensating and was very nervous about it.  I must have given it too much of walk break because of the hills and the terrain because when I started to run again - I couldn't do it.  I wasn't sure what to do.  I had promised Libby on loop 1 that if it got worse I would pull out and that if it remained the same, I told her I wanted to finish.  She was worried about me doing more damage to my knee.  As I walked, I had such a hard time mentally.  I started thinking things like "Maybe this is all in my head." I stepped off to the side to let another runner pass and almost fell to the ground.  There it was again - that sharp pain.  That made me really nervous.  I felt like at any minute or step, my whole knee could go out on me.  It wasn't consistent at all so I couldn't do anything to avoid it.  So at that point, I finally decided that I would just walk the last 3 miles in and call it quits.  Those were the longest 3 miles of my life!  I had no one to talk to, no one to tell me - yes you need to quit, or no, you will be okay.  I had to figure it out for myself and I hated that.  I was limping and I'm sure looked like an old woman.  I finally told myself I would rather pull out now and rest my knee over the next few days and make sure it was okay because I want to do well in the Isle Du Bois 50K on December 10th.  I had just signed up for that race this week with my friend Shannon who wanted to do it to celebrate her birthday.  I reached the end of the second loop with 16 miles and 4 hours 35 minutes.  Those last 3.5 miles took me an hour and a half to walk!!!

So I turn in my chip and get ice for my knee.  Then I just sit...and watch everyone come in for the 25k, then eventually 50kers start coming in and even some 50 milers...My friend Corina wound up DNF'ing also after loop 2.  She had planned on doing the 50K but the weather and her knee were not a good combo and she was feeling it.  We sat for a little bit and then she headed down to a camping area with other friends to cheer the racers on about a mile before the finish line.  I wanted to go, but A) I didn't feel like walking anymore B) I wanted to be there when Libby came in if she needed anything.  I wound up meeting some people from the San Antonio runners group and they were super nice.  One of them gave me some ibuprofen and some water after I got up and tried to walk to my cooler.  After sitting for so long, my knee had stiffened up very badly so getting up from my chair was hard, but once I got moving it was much better.  I sat and texted my friend Catherine and pouted the whole time about the stupid knee.  I didn't even have a good story for hurting it.  I didn't overtrain, I didn't fall, nothing...I freakin' turned around!  Are you kidding me?  I talked to my husband and let him know what happened and he asked if I had talked to my parents at all and I told him no, that I just wanted to pout for a bit.  (Can you tell I was in a really great mood at this point?)  Eventually Libby came through the start/finish ready to start loop 4 - her final loop.  She was looking tired, but she was good.  I got her anything she needed and she was off.  I sat and talked to some people around me for a while and a few minutes later I got a tweet from Libby saying she was probably going to DNF the race when she got to the next aid station.  WHAT????  She can't do that!  She will be at mile 27!  She only has 4 more to go!  Luckily the halfway aid station is about 500 feet from where I was, so I hobbled over there to meet her when she came through.  About 5 minutes later she came in, looking like she was ready to give in the towel.  I have never seen her look so worn out and just physically and mentally exhausted. At this point it was 2:30 in the afternoon and she had been going for 7 1/2 hours and the sun was out and it was hot!  So she came in and I asked her how she was...She told me it was just a "death march at this point".  We had the conversation about how she could just walk the last 4 miles at which point she told me it would take 2 hours.  I told her we had no where to go.  I offered to walk it with her but she told me no because I didn't need to be out there.  So I told her to let the aid station guy pour water over her head because I had just seen him do that for another guy and it looked like it would feel good.  I wasn't sure if she would go for that or not, but at that point it was all I could think of... As soon as I mentioned it, she bent over and I told him to pour some water on her.  He did and she perked up a little.  He made her eat a banana, take 2 salt caps, and drink some coke.  She has never tried any of those things, but she did whatever he told her to do.  At that point, we could have told her jump around in circle and click her heels and she probably would have done it.  She was kind of on autopilot.  After she got some fuel in her and cooled off a little, she went on down the trail to finish her 50K.  I was so incredibly proud of her.  She had been on her own for 21 miles, on a trail she had to do 4 times over, and over, and over.  She saw her other 2 friends drop the race and still kept going.  I went down to the campsite with Corina and the others to wait on her.  She came through with about a mile left, looking strong so then I ran  (yes, ran...) up to the finish line because no one was up there and I wanted to get a picture of her finishing and just be there.  I think I was living vicariously through her at that point.  She came through the finish line and she teared up and I did too!  What a tough girl!  I was so bummed that I couldn't finish, but honestly at that point, I wouldn't have traded my spot for anything in the world.
So when Libby got her medal, she was ready to get outta there!  So we packed our stuff up, headed to the car, and waved at our friends Fawn and Tony as they started on their last 7.5 mile loop of their 50 miler!!!!  Wow!!!!
We had a good ride home and talked the whole way and got home about 8:30 pm.  I know Libby was tired because I was and I only had done 16 miles!
I got in bed last night and was so glad to be in my bed.  I turned on the tv to watch some Private Practice that I had tivo'ed.  As I watched, something sad happened and I started crying like a baby!  I think Brian thought I was crazy, but I knew it wasn't because of the characters on tv.  It was so much more than that.  It was about me...that I had failed, that I thought I could do this and I couldn't...I didn't live up to my own expectations...I was mad at how it all went down and embarrassed...But deep down, I know I made the right decision.  I don't think walking 15 more miles and finishing the race in 12 hours would have done anything for my self confidence and only injured my knee more.
That's okay though...this isn't the end...there is still Isle Du Bois and I can't wait!

Rocky Raccoon 50K - first ultra!

Pretty much how I felt this weekend... 

This was probably the best running moment of my life!  Although it consisted of many moments from when we headed to Huntsville Friday afternoon with my girlfriends to the actual 50K race all 8 hours and 16 minutes of it!
I was very excited from the get go about how things would pan out.  I was super excited to get to go with my friends on a road trip and do the 50k.  It made me feel even better that three of the four of us had never done a 50k.  Fiona, Libby, and I all were new to that distance.  We had all completed marathons but my last marathon was a year and a half ago in the spring of 2010.  The rest of them had completed their marathons in the last few months if not weeks!  My longest training run before this race was a 20 miler before the Palo Duro weekend.  So I was a little worried that even though I had been training for this race for months, that I might not have enough mileage.  I figured there was nothing I could now but run the race.

Hotel Huntsville!

 So we head down Friday afternoon and get to the hotel and get checked in.  Then we head to packet pick up at Huntsville State Park.

Corina and I at the park entrance...

I thought the alligator thing was a joke until we drove past this sign...

The crew from L to R: Me, Fiona, Corina, and Libby
This was at the start/finish area...

We got our stuff from packet pickup and checked out the area around the start and finish.  It was a gorgeous park!  I loved the trees!  I could tell I was going to love the race already!

So we go eat dinner at the Farmhouse cafe - highly recommend it if you ever go to Huntsville!  They had some delicious stuff on the menu like my favorite chicken fried steak, but I didn't get it...I had to be sensible...my stomach has had issues on race day before so I  knew I had to play it safe.

After dinner we all went back and got ready for the race.

Pinning on my bib...

Laying everything out for the drop bag to make sure I don't forget anything.

I was bib 30 and Libby was 31!

So now that everything was laid out - we went off to bed about 8.  Alarms were set for a bright and early 4 am wake up call!  AHHH!  We had to be down to pick up our chips at the start line by 5:30 and the race started at 6!

Ready for the race...

We got to the race site and got our chips and promptly returned to the car for as long as possible because it was a tad chilly!  

So off we go on our first of two 15.5 mile loops. It was dark for a good hour, maybe an hour and a half...dark, dark...

It was DARK!!!

We made it to the first aid station still altogether.  

1st Aid Station - 4 miles in - still dark!

As we continued to run, the sun finally began to come up and it was beautiful!  We hit up the second aid station at about mile 7.5 all still together and eventually broke off from there.  Fiona and Libby took off and Corina and I ran together.  Loop one was pretty uneventful except for the period where I was tripping on roots every other footfall.  I was just out of rhythm or something.  Luckily I didn't fall then, I'm pretty sure Corina was hoping I didn't fall and knock her over!  So we continue to run and talk and the miles go by pretty quickly!  At each aid station, I was eating a handful of chips and m&ms and then every hour my Garmin was set to beep so that I would take my honeystinger and my s-caps.  Somehow though, on the last aid station at mile 12.5 I stopped my Garmin and didn't realize it until 2 miles later!  UGHHH!  Wasn't a big deal that first loop, but later it would be an issue when I was like at mile 25, alone, and so exhausted I couldn't think to do the math.

Sun coming up finally!

Corina and I on our first loop!

Last aid station on first loop...I'm eating - Corina is hook 'em-ing...(is that a word?)

So off we go, finishing up our first 15.5 mile loop and I am feeling good and strong.  I knew I needed to stick with a nice steady comfortable pace on the first loop and I did that and finished in 3:55 - my goal was 4:00 so I was feeling pretty confident.  

Coming in from my first loop.

Leaving on loop 2 

So off we go on loop 2.  Fiona left a little earlier than the rest of us.  She is by far a faster, stronger runner and she had kept her pace slower on her first loop so she could go faster the second loop.  I think she wound up with a negative split when it was all said and done.

Off we go, the three of us ran together for about the next 9 miles, until we got to the second aid station.  It was nice being able to see the trail in the day light that we had only seen in the dark earlier.  However, the long Jeep road that we ran on mile 2 in the dark seemed a whole lot longer when it was mile 17 in the light!  I thought that road would never end!  But it did and we got to the first aid station where Corina got some more meds for a sore knee and off we went...Corina was hanging back a little but she was right behind us.  At this point we knew there was only one guy behind our little group.  We were the last of the 50k-ers.

At the second aid station - about mile 24, we separated from Corina but only after a group shot.

Almost done ladies! 7 more to go!

I was still feeling pretty good at this point, although I had fallen and taken a pretty good digger on my knee at the beginning of the second loop.  But like Corina says "No blood, it didn't happen."  Well there wasn't blood because it was caked in dirt and that was a good thing because if it bled then it would have ruined my white Zensah calf sleeves and I can't have that!

So off Libby and I go...we had a good pace and we were very good about walking the uphills and running everything else.  Eventually about mile 25, I guess, I separated from Libby.  I got in front and then when I turned around I had run too far ahead.  I couldn't see her.  I didn't realize I was that far ahead until then.  I was just in a zone, and between dodging roots and rocks and branches, I just zoned out.  I stopped a couple of times on the trail when I thought I might be able to see her because of how the trail went but I never did.

Obligatory self portrait at mile 25...texted my husband and my mom that I was still alive and well with this pic.

Part of the trail....it was beautiful!

 So off, I go...it was at this point that my brain was getting tired...my body was fine...but with all the roots and rocks kept me on edge and this was also the first time that I was in charge of watching for the orange and white tape that marked the trail at various points.  A few times I started getting a little panicky that I was off course because I hadn't seen it for a while, but it would always show up.  I knew how easy it was though because Fiona and Libby had gotten off course for the first loop.  Up until this point, I had been running with someone, now I had 6 miles to go on the trail by myself.  So I thought in my head to just break it down aid station to aid station like Corina had taught me.  Okay, if I can just get to the water cooler, I thought...then I knew from there it was about a mile maybe a mile and a half to the last aid station.  My Garmin was still off and I wasn't exactly sure how far off at this point and I was so tired, I couldn't even figure out really how far I had to go so it was just "Get to the aid station."  Finally, the aid station came into view...SAWEEEET !!!!  I knew from here - the next people I would see, the guy at mile 1 and the finish line...So I get my chips and my chocolate and take off...Still feeling really good...I got to about mile 29 and everything seemed to hit me...I was tired so I fell again, on the SAME knee...it hurt.  I was by myself and I knew I was okay, but it hurt bad.  So I took a minute and just sat on the trail and regained my composure.  I was thinking when I fell and that always gets me into trouble.  I cannot think about anything but the trail - or I will get careless.  I must be always aware of the terrain and that can be mentally draining at times!   So I get up, dust myself off, and take off again.  I finally get to mile 1 and see mile 1 guy and finish the rest of the run without any walking.  I got to the finish before I even realized that I was at the finish area and I felt great!

Officially done with my first ultra-marathon!

Finish line friends!!!

It took me 8 hours and 16 minutes to finish...my goal was 8...but more importantly, my goal was to finish and that I did...I had so much fun and I couldn't have asked for a better group of gals to share that experience with!  Everyone was so wonderful and supportive. 

On the way home, Corina and Libby were talking about future races and goals and it was then that I realized, I don't really care to ever do another marathon.  As far as road races go, I think the half marathon is as far I will run, but on trails - well that is a different story.  Trails are so different in so many ways.  They don't even compare.  I feel so much better today than I have after either of the marathons.  In fact, I ran today.  Yes, trails slow you down, which for a slow road runner makes you super slow, but, the atmosphere is so much more relaxed.  The mental toughness of the trails is hard.  I read a quote today that said something to the effect that road runners draw energy from the crowds but that on the trail it is just you alone...nothing to draw your energy from but yourself.  Sometimes that is hard.  Running is so mental for me anyway.  But I love this so much!  The 50K is the perfect distance for me right now.  It is hard enough to push my body out of its comfort zone, a lot, but not hard enough that I can't do it.  Someday I would like to do a 50 miler, but right now I am sticking with this distance.  

That being said, somehow Corina and Libby convinced me that I needed to do another 50K in two weeks.  So, all I have to say to that is "Watch out Wild Hare!"  I came home and within being home for an hour I had signed up for the race on November 19th.  After that the race schedule is empty until the New Year's Double , but I figure why not?  My mileage is high, I feel good...let's do it!

I will survive...

I can do this...

 Well this week was going to be my personal milestone...a personal barrier that I needed to break through...I had my longest run in a year and a half -16 miles scheduled for Saturday...followed by a 10 miler on Sunday.  I knew if I could get through the 16 and feel decent and somehow pull off 8-10 on Sunday, I would feel confident enough to sign up for my first 50K trail race.  The question was - how would it go...I can sit here and honestly say, I feel great!  I felt better after the 16 Saturday then I did after many half marathons.  I woke up and met Libby early Sunday for a run and we got in an easy 8 and still felt incredibly strong.  I have never run this much in my life, but I can say that adding mileage and doing back to back runs Saturday and Sunday, even if they are shorter ones, has paid off extremely.  For the first time in my life, I feel like a strong runner.  I have actually never thought of myself as a runner at all, but now I feel much more confident in my abilities.  I feel like with the right training, nutrition, etc I can do more than I ever expected.  It also helps that I have met and surrounded myself with so many knowledgeable and experienced runner friends that I can always ask questions or bounce ideas off.  I have never had that before.

Sight from the 16 miler Saturday...!

So as of this week, hotel reservations are made for the 50K with my girlfriends Corina C. and Libby J, and I will be registering this week for my first 50K.  That still sounds so crazy to me....but I am so super excited!  I can't WAIT!!!!!